Every single New Years Eve for the past 15 years, my resolution has always been the same.
“I am going to go the entire year without pulling a single eyebrow or eyelash.”
I would maybe make it maybe one or two days, but as soon as school started up again after the holidays, the resolution went bust. I would unconsciously pull an eyebrow or eyelash when I became sedentary working all day. The pulling didn’t necessarily happen because I was stressed, but it would come when I was bored, or thinking really hard about an assignment.
The larger problem at hand was that the second I pulled, I gave myself permission to completely dismiss the original resolution that I set, with the intention to try again next year.
However, this resolution was close to impossible in the way it was set up. It wasn’t until I took an actual class in human motivation in college that I was introduced to the SMART goal setting method. Specific. Measurable. Attainable. Realistic. Time.
Here's how I learned the resolution could have been improved…
Specific.
Instead of a vague goal to stop pulling eyebrows and eyelashes, specify a clear behavior change and environment, such as "I will track and reduce instances of eyebrow and eyelash pulling when working online."
Measurable.
Define success with measurable criteria, like "I will record each instance of pulling in a journal and aim to keep pulling occurrences less than 5 times a week." This will help you have a clear benchmark of where you are, where you want to be and how to track it.
Attainable.
Make the goal achievable by setting smaller milestones, such as the above modification from no pulling to less than 5 times a month when working. This will help you stay motivated by setting yourself up to be able to celebrate small victories and bounce back from any intermittent pulling session setbacks.
Realistic.
Ensure the goal aligns with your capabilities and circumstances. The original goal of going completely cold turkey on an addictive and unconscious behavior set up failure and disappointment to thrive when the behavior inevitably occurred.
Time.
Rather than measuring the success of the goal a year later, shorten the time interval so it is front and center in your mind. Set a smaller deadline for achieving the goal, such as "By the end of each week, I will review my progress and adjust strategies as needed to stay on track."
So combining all of the above, a SMART goal would be, “I will not pull more than 5 hairs each week when working online by the end of the week, and will keep track of my progress each day.” Review this goal each week, and adjust the number of hairs pulled to remain realistic and attainable until you can get to 0. While there are many ways to keep track of progress and pulling behaviors when online, such as journaling, Pluck is a tool that automates this process.
Pluck was designed to keep track of your pulling habits so you don’t have to. It uses AI to recognize when you are pulling when online, offer a replacement behavior and an affirmation to reinforce the new behavior. It tracks how much time passes in between each pull or pulling attempt for the user to be able to recognize how often they engage in the behavior and what triggers them. If this sounds like a good option, you can join our waitlist here!
For whatever method you choose to help you monitor and achieve your goal, when defining clear, measurable goals and celebrating incremental progress, it’s easier to shift away from self-criticism towards self-compassion. Each step forward, however small, is now a testament to resilience and determination. The success in setting SMART goals is not in achieving perfection, but in embracing the process with kindness and understanding towards yourself and trichotillomania.
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